For several years, I was part of a group called Playback Theater West. This was a unique improv experience where audience members would come on stage to share personal stories with us—a group of improvisers seated on stage, listening intently. The storyteller, or "Teller," would then cast us in their story, and we would bring it to life through improvisation.
One of my favorite formats in Playback was called Pairs. In this form, the Teller would share a story that lived in the tension of dual emotions. For instance, a parent might talk about their child leaving for college. On one hand, they’d feel sadness over the separation; on the other, pride and excitement for their child’s next chapter. We would play out both sides of the experience simultaneously, showing how these feelings didn’t cancel each other out—they coexisted.
This exercise was a profound reminder that both things can be true. As speakers and storytellers, embracing this truth is one of the most powerful tools we have.
When we stand before an audience, we often feel the urge to present clarity and certainty. But life is rarely that simple. It’s complex, layered, and full of contradictions. Honoring that complexity—leaning into the both, and—is not just more honest, it’s more relatable.
For us as speakers, this means:
Acknowledging the joy and the grief in a story.
Admitting the fear and the courage that come with big changes.
Celebrating success and recognizing the sacrifices or privilege that made it possible.
Why does this matter? Because audiences don’t connect with perfect, tidy stories—they connect with authenticity. When we allow ourselves to reflect the full spectrum of human experience, we create a space where others feel seen and understood.
The next time you’re crafting a talk or sharing a story, ask yourself:
Where is the both, and in this narrative?
How can I honor the complexity without oversimplifying?
Am I willing to step into the tension and trust my audience to follow me there?
As storytellers, we have a responsibility to move beyond one-sided narratives. By leaning into both, and, we show audiences what it means to hold space for complexity in a world that often demands simplicity.
When we embrace this approach, we’re not just telling stories—we’re building bridges of connection and understanding.✨