A mindset shift for you

I’ve been slowly but steadily writing a book on how to be an unforgettable speaker. While writing, I often reflect on lessons I’ve learned and stories from my own life, so my readers don’t feel so alone on their public speaking journey.

This past week, one story resurfaced that I hadn’t thought about in years. It came up while I was remembering the times I totally botched an audition, or when something didn’t go the way I’d hoped.

Back when I lived in San Francisco, I had the opportunity to audition for the American Conservatory Theater (A.C.T.) for a production of The Misanthrope, directed by Carey Perloff. If you know the theater world, you know this was a big deal. It was my first Equity (theater union) audition, and I was truly excited, and honored, to be invited into the room.

On the day of the audition, I walked into a large studio on the 3rd floor and was welcomed by 4 people sitting behind a long folding table all facing the space where I would be delivering my 1 minute prepared monologue. I believe it was Marianne from Tartuffe written by Moliere.

I smiled. I greeted them. I found my spot in the room, took a breath, and started speaking.

The entire time, however, I was so in my head. It was like I was having a conversation with myself while simultaneously reciting a monologue.

Monologue: “Sir, by that Heaven which sees me here distressed,”

My brain: “I wonder if they like it. Holy shit, I can’t believe I am auditioning for Carey Perloff.”

Monologue: “And by whatever else can move your breast,”

My brain: “I don’t belong here. Why me?”

Monologue: “Do not employ a father’s power, I pray you,”

My brain: “Shit! What’s the next line? ‘To crush my heart and…’ Shit! To crush my heart and… Meridith, you’re fucking it up. What is the line?” (panic, panic, panic)

The blood started rushing to the back of my brain. I was now in fight or flight.

I stopped the monologue.

Me (to the auditioners): “Sorry. I am so sorry. Can I start over?”

They nodded, and I started over.

I did this three times, and to this day, I am still not sure if I got through the entire monologue. I was having an out-of-body experience and there was nothing present about me.

Thank God there was a dance audition that followed, where I was paired with another actor to partner dance.

It was from this that I booked the job.

Perhaps you have your own version of this story. Can you think back to what you wish you had done differently?

For me, I could list a gazillion things I would have done differently. And sadly, it wasn't until years later when I started understanding the impact of having a healthy mindset and how it truly impacts how you show up in the world.

Here is one mindset exercise to help you out:

The Future You Rehearsal - A visualization exercise

When to use: when you’re stuck in “what if I mess up?”

Close your eyes and picture this:

• You finish the talk.

• You walk off stage.

• You feel grounded, clear, proud.

• Someone comes up and says: “That was unforgettable.”

Now ask yourself: What did Future Me do differently to earn that reaction?

Write 3 actions. Here are some examples:

• I slowed down.

• I simplified the message.

• I made the audience feel something.

• I owned the pauses.

You've got this!